Thursday, May 9, 2013

Feeling Guilty About Getting Divorced?

See a good article, written by someone named Cynthia Copeland on the Huffington Post today at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cynthia-l-copeland/why-divorced-moms-need-to_b_3180720.html?ir=Divorce&utm_campaign=050913&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Alert-divorce&utm_content=Title

The article is entitled:  Why Divorced Moms Need to Let Go of Their Guilt.

If you put your children first, encourage your children to have good relationships with their other parent, the children will generally adapt and do okay.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Mediation, Now More than Ever

The National Conflict Resolution Center (NCRC) started its Divorce and Family Law Mediation program in 1994 to offer divorcing and separating couples a better way to get through the process, by providing them with relevant legal information, and assistance negotiating agreements consistent with the law and acceptable to the couple.

A family law attorney mediator guides the process; the outcome is controlled by the couple. Their independent attorneys may advise. This process allows for a resolution that meets the needs of the family, which the couple, of course, knows better than anyone. Divorce or separation will typically cause the parties to live on less money (the same amount of household income has to pay for two households, instead of one), find new or better jobs, and spend less time with their children. When people are involved in legal matters that affect their whole lives, it is very stressful, time consuming and disruptive. Court dates are not set for their convenience, information may be provided by one side that is designed to help the presenting party “win,” and someone who doesn’t know them or their children, a Judge, makes the decisions that impact their lives. Mediation helps the parties address and resolve these issues in a way that helps them decide what can be best for them. Appointments are at their convenience, they can prioritize issues for discussion and resolution. and personal concerns which may not be legally relevant can be addressed.
Twenty years ago, some in the legal community questioned whether the more affordable family law mediation meant that it was second class justice or good just for poor or middle income people. Rather, it was (and still is) a smart way for any couple, regardless of income, to develop a settlement agreement that will work for them and their children. Mediation, by appropriately trained and experienced family law attorney mediators, is a proven way for couples, whether amicable or not, to manage their divorces in an efficient, cost effective, beneficial way.

Over the last year, the way courts operate in California has changed dramatically. It is not a secret that the California State budget woes are having a significant impact. Although the Judiciary is one of the three branches of government, it clearly does not get its proportional share of funds allocated to the state government.

Why Now More than Ever?

  • In Family Court, the users, whether attorneys or people representing themselves, are feeling the impact of the budget cuts.
  • Filing fees have increased and other fees have been added.
  • There has been a significant reduction in court staff. The business offices are open fewer hours so the time to file paperwork in person or ask the clerks procedural questions in person or by telephone is much more limited;
  • Hearings are being set farther out on the calendar than previously.
  • If there is a legal “emergency,” there are some procedures for going before a judge on short notice during certain hours of the day and upon notice to the other side. However, if the issue is important to the parties but not a bona fide emergency in the court’s view, the judge will not rule.
  • In general, Family Court is difficult to navigate by parties representing themselves. It is not designed, as Small Claims Court is, to be handled by lay people.
  • Procedural rules, whether statewide or local, are not easy for a non-lawyer to understand and follow, and hiring attorneys to litigate is expensive.
  • In the past, there have been limited legal services for low income parties, but the criteria for the cases that these dedicated and underfunded groups could take on is also limited. The Family Law Facilitator is available at the courthouses on a first come - first served basis to assist parties representing themselves to prepare their paperwork for court. The wait to be seen is typically very long.
Mediation for Divorce and Family Law Issues provides legal information from family law attorney/mediators; opportunities to consult with private attorneys and other experts on an hourly basis or a modest retainer; and the ability to design a process and outcome, which will work for both spouses and the children. Given all of the difficulties in getting through the court system, family law mediation, which has been a gaining popularity for decades, is an even better, more affordable and faster option now.