KID'S TURN IS OFFERING A WORKSHOP FOR PARENTS

Kids' Turn is a good organization that puts on seminars that help children and parents understand the impact of divorce on children.  The Court sometimes tells parents to attend their regular workshops.

Now they are offering a seminar just for parents on Thursday night, January 16th.   If you attend, please respond to this post and let us know how you liked it.

KidsTurn San Diego Presents a Third Thursday Seminar 

Co-Parenting Survival Tools For When Your Ex Breaks The Rules

Responding Instead of Reacting

Presented by:  Judith Ruskay Rabinor, Ph.D.

Author of the book “Befriending Your Ex After Divorce”

Resolving for better interactions with your co-parent? 

Learn 10 Guidelines to keep your children protected and yourself sane when your ex is unpredictable and/or uncooperative.

                                                                                                        
Time reserved for questions to help you with your real life problems. All attendees will be entered in a drawing for a copy of Dr. Rabinor's book.

Register online before January 10th to qualify for $15 early registration fee!

More info at http://www.kidsturnsd.org/wordpressktsd/programs/workshops/ 

Register at http://www.kidsturnsd.org/wordpressktsd/seminar-registration/

                        When:          Thursday, January 16, 2014, 6:30-8:00 pm

                        Location:      ARC North Shores Vocational Center

9575 Aero Drive SD 92123

                       

                        Cost:             $20 per person 

                                              ($15 per person for early registration before 1/10/14)

Sorry, no child care provided

For more information about their programs and to register on-line please visit

www.kidsturnsd.org

 

 

Contemplating Divorce or Separation -- Some Helpful Hints for the Holidays

                                                           Happy Holidays

Ginita Wall and Candace Bahr, two local Certified Divorce Financial Analysts, wrote a good article that they said could be shared with clients.  I hope you find it helpful. 

                                                          Robin Seigle, Director of NCRC's Divorce Mediation Services

Handling the Holidays...

When Your Marriage No Longer Feels Like a "Gift"

by Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP^®, CDFA^™
and Candace Bahr, CDFA^™

Holidays are usually a time for reconnecting, but if you are married -- and not so happily -- seasonal preparations and celebrations can put a major strain on relationships that are already teetering on the brink. So how do you celebrate the holidays when you don't think your marriage will make it?  Here are some tips for getting through it all.

1. Ask for help from friends and family.

If it looks like getting divorced will be one of your New Year's resolutions, but you and your spouse are still together, you may want to confide your situation to a friend or family member. But limit what you share to just one or two people. If you blab to everyone, your spouse could hear of it, your marriage will suffer even more, and your holiday will explode into ruin for everyone - especially if you have children.

2. Curb holiday spending.

Heading into divorce deeply in debt complicates everything, so don't drown your guilt or sorrow in shopping. This may not be the most picture-perfect memorable holiday season, and that's okay - right now, you are just trying to get through.

3. Lighten up your expectations.

Holidays are about getting together, but divorce is about breaking up. Get through this pressure-packed time of year by focusing on others.  Maintain a gracious spirit and be grateful for every good thing you have. Consider what's most important to yourself and your family, and pare celebrations down to just those things.

4. Don't let marital storms destroy your joy.

Think of your marital problems the same way you would a big snowstorm during the holidays. You might have to change your plans a bit, re-arrange schedules and deal with some unpleasantness. But you can still figure out ways to celebrate without the storms derailing your holiday. Find and share every little joy you can this holiday season.

5. Don't squabble with your spouse.

Keeping your emotions in check is key, so resentment doesn't overcome you during the holidays.  If you act in anger now, you may ruin your chances to get to a peaceful divorce settlement with your spouse in the New Year.  And, fighting in front of the kids is never a good idea. Children learn what they see at home, and they will take to heart things you say in anger.

6. Take your time.

When the holidays draw to a close, don't rush headlong into divorce. Take as much time to plan your divorce strategy as you devoted to shopping and decorating for the holidays - this preparation will pay off for an entire lifetime, instead of just one season.

Internet article reports that "Divorce Mediation, Rather than Litigation, Facilitates a Smoother End to the Marriage"

See  article called:  Experts:  2 ways to divorce proof your marriage at http://living.msn.com/love-relationships/love-sex/experts-2-ways-to-divorce-proof-your-marriage .

The article talks about a survey of mental health professionals conducted by YourTango.com.  It discusses improving communication and making your spouse a priority as ways to "divorce proof" your marriage.

It also says that "'73 percent of experts say that mediation, instead of divorce litigations, facilitates a smoother end to the marriage,' states Andrea Miller, CEO, YourTango."