How Divorcing Couples Can be Dollar-Wise

by Robin Seigle, J.D., Director, NCRC Divorce Mediation Services

During the best of times, spending money getting divorced is similar to buying tires or seeing the dentist...it is not very much fun. During financially difficult times, many couples are finding that they have less income to work with and/or their future earnings are uncertain. The big assets most couples have, their house and/or their stock portfolios, are worth much less now than they were a year ago. Consequently, spending money getting divorced may be substantially more difficult, particularly in light of having to run two households on the same income(s).

I speak to dozens of divorcing people in the course of a month. In many cases, both parties have concluded that they do not want to hire separate attorneys and spend time and money fighting over things or their children. In some cases, one party or the other wants to use mediation, and the other person does not want to spend money on the cost of mediation. They sometimes want to use paralegals or try to do it themselves. Two options for doing it for oneself are to get a “Do-it-Yourself” book or to see the Family Law Facilitator, available on a first-come first served basis at each of the Family Courts in San Diego County.

The Family Law Facilitator, closely resembles a legal emergency room for family law clients, as parties stand in long lines before signing-in for an on-the spot appointment with an attorney, for which the person might wait a few more hours. The attorney does not provide legal advice, but information about how to file papers as a “pro per”: (person acting as their own attorney). For couples who don’t own a home and have few assets, the Family Law Facilitator can be relatively easy and no-cost (other than filing fees unless they are waived) way to get papers filed. Workshops are provided weekly to educate a group of people how to do that.

On the other hand, for couples that own homes, own businesses, have retirement plans or pensions, and/or have issues of child and or spousal support, there is middle ground between spending tens of thousands of dollars fighting in court and spending almost nothing by using the Family Law Facilitator. Mediation, conducted by Family Law attorneys, is a means to discuss the issues that must be addressed for a court to sign off on a couple’s agreement, which include:

· Division of property - assets and debts
· Support - spousal and/or child
· Parenting - including where the child lives

Each of these topics comes with legal, financial, personal-emotional, and possibly tax implications. NCRC’s Divorce Mediators, as family law practitioners, can provide important information about the legal and financial consequences, some creative ways that other clients have addressed similar issues, and a neutral environment in which to discuss the issues. These issues should be understood by both parties before they make decisions that they might regret later, or which prove to be illegal or unenforceable. If they have an idea of what they want to do, and it differs from what a court would do if a judge had to decide, they can generally do what they want to do, as long as they understand the differences.

With an hourly rate of $250 per hour, shared by the couple, a one-time administrative fee of $125 per person to cover copies, postage, messenger service, and time communicating with staff, if the NCRC mediator prepares their legal paperwork and $1800 –3500 for all of their legal paperwork, a complete divorce (discussion/negotiation, resolution, and paperwork submitted to the court for a judge’s approval) can be accomplished for as little as $2500 total (not including the court’s filing fees). The couple controls the number of meetings, the length of the meetings (NCRC reserves two hours, but some couples only use an hour at a time), when they are held, how often they are held, and the timing for preparing and submitting any legal paperwork to the court.

The Divorce Mediation process provides a client-centered process, information that will lead to informed consent, the mediator to keep the discussion focused and productive, and a means to an end that has benefits well beyond being Dollar-Wise.