Legal and mental
health professionals and divorced or separated couples agree that what is most
important for the children of divorce or separation is for parents to
communicate effectively and cooperate when it comes to their children.
Huffington Post posted
another excellent article about co-parenting entitled The Co-Parenting Cheat Sheet” by Honoree Corder. Here is the link:
This is one of the best articles I have read on the
topic. Some of the especially important
points in the article include:
- [Don’t] assume [ that] actions of the other party are meant just to upset you…Your ex is probably continuing some of the same behaviors you overlooked when you were a couple, only now they upset you and you’re taking them personally.
- You might think your ex is the worst person to ever live, but you are the one who originally chose them. There’s nothing you can do about it now. Own it, and move on.
- Your ex is gonna do what they’re gonna do. You can’t control them now, you can only control you now. (How many times have I said this to potential divorce mediation clients?)
- Be as nice as you would be to the …UPS delivery guy. Use your manners, be a bit business-like, and end the conversation as soon as the needed topics have been covered.
As your children get older, they will have their own
relationships with each parent. Do what
you can to make them healthy. One day they will thank you.
12 comments:
Thank you for sharing this blog on family law and divorce. I think it is also good for children to live in a co-parenting environment. There is a lot of good points that you shared.
Dorthy Packer | http://www.fairbankslaw.com/divorce--family-law
You have a really good observation in noticing that the other person isn't probably trying to vex you, but they are simply acting the way they always have you just overlooked it while you were married. It helps keep neutral feelings to the separation and lets the kids have easier transitions between houses when both sides don't talk about the other in a bad light. http://www.turnerlawoffice.ca/en/family_law.html
Thanks for the post. I totally agree. Having the two parent co-operate in a divorce then it will run smoothly. It is also easier on the kids, kids don't want to see their parents fight.
Edmund | http://www.thomasjdonnelly.com/clearwater-divorce-lawyer/
Thanks for your blog on family law. I agree that parenting can be harder when parents are divorced, but it is important for the parents to work together for the benefit of their children. You shared some great points and advice!
Amber Johnson | http://www.dunsmuirridler.ca/family_law.html
I agree that making sure the children are taken care of when handling a divorce is the most important. I've had a few friends announce recently that they are divorcing their significant other. While it's sad to see something fall apart, it's better to realize you don't work together sooner rather than later. http://www.jcohenmediation.com/lp/divorce-mediator-schenectady-ny-jeffrey-cohen-mediation/
I didn't know that children experience less stress when both parents attend their activities. That's really good to know. Usually, my husband goes to my sons games and I go to my daughters recitals. I never thought of the impact it could have on them. We are going to have to work something out. Thanks for the advice!
Brooke Bowen | http://www.heritagelawgroup.com/family_law.html
Cooperative co-parenting really is a good thing for the children. This is a fundamental of family law and the way that more divorced families need to raise their kids. That way their is no fighting within the two families when one lets the kids do something that the other wouldn't.
http://www.stephenbrowndorflaw.com/divorce-law/
My parents are divorced, and I completely agree with this post. I was lucky enough to have great parents, who remained friendly after their split. I know that this is not always possible, but it certainly made my life easier.
http://www.raepartners.com.au/services/
There are some good insights you shared in this blog. Having team parenting is a way to have a built in support system for each other. Though if you don't support each other, it can lead to a lot of unhappiness.
Megan Jones http://www.brayandjohnsonlawfirm.net/team
Not only is it the most important for the children, but it seems to be the key to a smooth divorce process. It is interesting that psychologists have also discovered that good communication between parents and care of children leads to less stress and better relationships. Great information! http://www.jcohenmediation.com/lp/divorce-mediator-saratoga-springs-ny-jeffrey-cohen-mediation/
Not only is it the most important for the children, but it seems to be the key to a smooth divorce process. It is interesting that psychologists have also discovered that good communication between parents and care of children leads to less stress and better relationships. Great information! http://www.jcohenmediation.com/lp/divorce-mediator-saratoga-springs-ny-jeffrey-cohen-mediation/
I think divorce mediation is necessary to help children out. I think in a way, having the parents cooperate will help show the children that they are trying to make things as normal as possible. You don't want your children thinking that marriage isn't good or that divorce is necessarily bad. The better they understand the easier it will be for them to cope with it.
Zach Thalman | http://www.jcohenmediation.com/lp/divorce-mediator-schenectady-ny-jeffrey-cohen-mediation/
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