HOW IS CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATED?

HOW IS CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATED?

One of the most important issues in settling any divorce or legal separation is child support. People's understanding of child support is often based upon misconceptions or the experiences of friends and family during their divorces.  Please read the article below by Barney Connaughton, Esq., a mediator with Divorce Mediation Group, for a clear, concise explanation of how child support is calculated.

Kim Werner, Program Manager, Divorce Mediation Group kwerner@ncrconline.com

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"HOW IS CHILD SUPPORT CALCULATED?"

In California, when the Court is asked to make a decision regarding child support, it is required to set the support amount using an algebraic formula commonly referred to as “guideline child support.”  The formula considers the number of children, the income of each parent, and the percentage of time the children are in each parent’s care. Computer programs have been designed to make the algebraic calculations considering the tax situation of each parent, as well as the deductions from each parent’s income for such things as health insurance, union dues, mandatory retirement and other support obligations.  In a case where the Court is asked to decide the issue of child support, the Judge is not allowed to deviate from the amount indicated absent special circumstances. Costs for daycare expenses related to the employment of the parties as well as unreimbursed medical, dental, orthodontia, counseling and prescription drug costs for the children are added on as support in addition to the indicated guideline amount.

"IS THERE ANY ALTERNATIVE TO GUIDELINE CHILD SUPPORT?"

Couples can reach agreement to a support amount that is greater or less than the guideline amount.  For the Court to accept such an agreement the couple is required to acknowledge their right to have support set by guideline, that their agreement is in the best interest of the children and will allow each parent to adequately meet the needs of the children.  If child support is set in a sum less than the guideline amount, the receiving parent can later petition the Court to have the amount increased to the guideline level which the Court will do given the mandate to order support consistent with the state guidelines.

Mediation gives the couple flexibility regarding the setting of child support.  They may choose to stick to a guideline level of support, or they may look at the needs of each household and come up with a level of support that focuses more on how each of their needs can be best met. Guideline child support provides the Court with a quick mechanism to set support. Unfortunately, this level of support may either be unrealistic to the parent obligated to pay or insufficient for the supported parent to meet the needs of the children.  Looking at all the circumstances of the couple, rather than just the inputs that the guideline calculations call for, can aid in making a support decision that is best for the whole family. 

by Barney Connaughton, Esq., family law attorney and mediator.  Barney is a mediator with Divorce Mediation Group and strives to help couples realize a healthy, civil way to divorce.

New Year's Eve Fun and Games for the Kids

NEW YEAR'S EVE FUN FOR THE FAMILY

If this is your kids' first New Year's Eve during your divorce process, they may want to stick close to home, and you, for the evening's festivities.  I was browsing the web and found this article, 10 New Year's Eve "Minute to Win It" games, on a site called The Idea Room.  The games are easy and fun and will let your kids be silly and hopefully produce a few belly laughs.  With games like The Countdown Knockdown, Tick Tock . . . Tic Tacs, New Years Stack Attack, and The Ball Drop, and a supply list that contains, among other things, Skittles, red Solo cups, straws, balloons and tweezers, you know you're in for some fun.  

New Year's Eve is the perfect time to celebrate with family, with the Christmas stress behind you. You can act like a kid again playing these games with your kids.  They'll have a good time with you and you'll be creating a positive memory during a period in their lives they would probably sometimes rather forget.

Here's wishing you and yours a safe and happy 2015.

Kim

Kim Werner
Program Manager
Divorce Mediation Group
kwerner@ncrconline.com

DIVORCE MEDIATION 101 - FREE WORKSHOP

DIVORCE MEDIATION 101 (a free workshop for you) Divorce Mediation 101 is a free workshop designed to answer your questions about mediation at Divorce Mediation Group. It's held on the first and third Tuesday of each month at our offices in downtown San Diego. NEXT WORKSHOP IS DECEMBER 2, 2014.

Click on the link for more information and to register.

Register for Divorce Mediation 101

Surviving the Holidays after Divorce

Surviving the Holidays after Divorce

By Rochelle Perper, Ph.D.

       In past years, the holiday season may have been a time of great anticipation and excitement….but this year, the prospect of facing the holidays without your partner may cause anxiety and dread. It is okay to accept the difficulty of this time of year and acknowledge your loss. But remember, this difficult time won’t last forever. Below are a few practical tips for divorced parents to help you survive the holiday season:

*  Plan ahead. Discuss the schedule with your child’s other parent and be prepared to be flexible if needed.

           *  Set Boundaries. Find a way to communicate to your family and friends what you are capable of doing this year, and what you aren't. Don’t let others guilt you into taking on more than you can handle.

          *  Develop new holiday traditions and rituals. Creating new, meaningful traditions can foster joy this season and bring families closer together. Try assembling a model airplane, creating a Lego wonderland or assembling a jigsaw puzzle.

           *  Try something completely different. It may be refreshing to try something completely different that will lift everyone’s spirits and serve as a healthy distraction when difficult emotions arise. Consider going roller-skating, hiking, or having a picnic by the beach.

           *  Help children obtain a gift for the other parent. This communicates to the child your permission to love the other family which greatly reduces fear and tension.

          *  Find other single parent homes around the holidays. Spending time with others in similar situations can help you feel supported and not alone. Consider a potluck dinner with each person bringing a favorite dish.

          *  Treat yourself. Being a single parent is not easy. Find time to treat yourself to a massage, a long hot bath or a yoga class.

·         *  Discover economical ways to celebrate. There are several creative and fun ways to celebrate the season without breaking the bank. Have the children make their own greeting cards and decorations. Give cookies or other hand-made crafts as gifts. You can also exchange “IOU’s” such as walking the dog, cooking a nice dinner, or making a date to exercise or see a show.

          *  Reclaim gratitude.  Following a divorce – or any other type of significant life transition it is easy to focus on what has been lost. This is the time to make an effort to consider the things in your life that you are thankful for. Practices such as writing in a journal or sharing with others your gratitude will help reinforce this kind of thinking.

      One of the most important things is to be gentle and understanding with yourself and your children during this time of adjustment. Change is not only hard for adults, but for children, too. Children are especially likely to express feelings of hurt, confusion, sadness or fear through anger. Try to remain calm and assist your children in identifying healthy outlets to express themselves such as journaling, exercise, or relaxation.

      If you find yourself having a difficult time functioning at home or at work due to difficult emotions that arise consider joining a support group or seeking individual therapy to help you develop coping strategies. Meeting with a therapist can help you resolve past hurt and ease resentment so you can get back to feeling more like you again – and enjoying this special time of year.

Rochelle Perper, Ph.D., is the owner and Principal Psychologist of Therapy Changes. Dr. Perper established the practice in 2011 with the philosophy and approach of providing focused guidance when it is needed most. Dr. Perper is a licensed clinical psychologist in California, with a caring practice focused on helping clients better navigate and manage life’s difficult transitions.

Holidays During Divorce

Ready or Not, Here Come the Holidays . . .  

When you're in the middle of a divorce or after the divorce is final, the holiday season can be the most difficult time of the year. You and your ex may be invited to the same parties and get-togethers. Do you go to the party where you will see each other, or do you avoid any chance of an encounter altogether? Do you spend time with the kids together for the turkey dinner or to open gifts, or do you each have your own celebrations with the kids? Is this the time to announce your separation or divorce if you haven't yet done so?  

For some, letting go of the old traditions is unthinkable. But those traditions are going to change.  It's time to invent new ways to celebrate the old holidays.

Keep the Peace on Earth

If you and your ex get along, you may be able to enjoy holiday celebrations together with your kids. If there is a chance there will be an argument, it's probably wiser to celebrate separately and let your kids off the hook with a calm, stress-free day.  They need a day free from any demonstrations of conflict between mom and dad.

Keep the "Holiday Spirits" to a Minimum

Watch your alcohol intake at holiday parties, especially if your ex is in attendance and your kids are present.  You don't need anything adding fuel to a potential fire. You really do want to be able to have a civil, respectful interaction with your ex so that there is no tension in front of the kids.

Lay the Holiday Groundwork

Be sure that you and your ex have discussed everyone's school and work schedules. Decide where the kids will be and with whom. Will be they at Grandma's house on New Year's Eve?  What do they need to take with them? Who will drop off and pick up? It helps to write all this down or post it on the refrigerator and make sure that you, your ex and the kids have a copy handy to refer to so all involved know where everyone is supposed to be and when. It will alleviate your kids' anxiety if they know you have their backs and have taken care of the loose ends ahead of time. Remember, you want to ward off any misunderstandings or arguments.  Be prepared.

Listen to your kids.  Do they have ideas about the holiday plans? Honor their favorite traditions.  Have you always fixed pancakes on Christmas morning? You can still do that with them.  Do you go to the same tree farm for the Christmas tree every year?  Make it a part of this year's celebration.  Have you gone to the same temple to worship since they were babies?  Be sure to visit that temple this year.  Your children need to know that important traditions are still intact and that their feelings are important to you.  That can only foster a sense of security and familiarity in the midst of the upheaval of their family.  

Hark!  Start New Traditions

Be creative.  Start new holiday traditions with your kids.  You might get crafty and make gifts for the family, or visit a nursing home or homeless shelter and hand out cards.  Make a video of holiday songs for Grandpa.  Choose a new recipe for mashed potatoes and make it your official family recipe.   You're starting from scratch here.  The world is your oyster. Make it great.

Rest, Ye Merry Gentlemen 

Take care of yourself during the holidays.  You're under a lot of stress right now. Don't give in to the temptation to throw caution to the wind when it comes to getting enough sleep, exercise and eating at least somewhat sensibly (easier said than done, I know).  When you feel better, you have more resources to pull from to find patience, humor and love to give to your kids and family.  

Breathe.

If you're having difficulty coping, reach out to your friends or family or to a mental health professional.  It's the smart cookie who knows when to seek help; it is never a sign of weakness. 

by Kim Werner

Program Manager

Divorce Mediation Group

kwerner@ncrconline.com

  $ocial $ecurity $trategies 

for

Former $pouses  

Thea Glazer, CFP, CDFA, one of the foremost Certified Financial Divorce Analysts (CFDA) in San Diego, offers these excellent tips for collecting and managing your Social Security benefits:

• If you were married for at least 10 years and are not remarried, you can receive a maximum of 50% of what your former spouse would receive at their Full Retirement Age (FRA), usually 66 or 67.
• If ex-spouse is younger than you are, you can collect your own benefit first and then switch to collecting on their record, if it makes financial sense.
• An excellent strategy is to apply for benefits on your ex-spouse’s record and let your own benefits accrue until age 70, the latest they can be deferred. Accrual after your FRA is at 8% per year, not a shabby return in this low interest rate environment. Below are some of the finer points:
• Your former spouse does not to have filed for his/her own benefits, but must be eligible to do so (must be at least age 62).
• Ex-spouse’s benefits will not be reduced if you collect on his/her record.  
• If you file for benefits before you reach your FRA, Social security automatically gives you the larger of your own benefit or your benefit as an ex-spouse. You are then limited and cannot switch to your own benefit at your FRA or deferred to any time up to age 70. 
• If you wait until your FRA and collect your spousal benefit based on ex-spouse’s record, you can switch to your own benefit any time between your FRA and age 70. If your FRA is age 66, waiting until age 70 increases your benefit by 32%, quite a large increase!

If you have questions or need help navigating the financial waters of a divorce or separation, please visit Thea's website Thea Glazer, CFP, CDFA.  


Kim Werner
Program Manager
Divorce Mediation Group
kwerner@ncrconline.com
619-238-2400 x 223

Third Saturday workshop this Saturday, September 20, 2014

THIRD SATURDAY, JANUARY 17, 2015

Come to Third Saturday, a comprehensive workshop for people going through a divorce or just thinking about it.  Come, have a cup of coffee and hear from a family law attorney, family law mediator, a certified divorce financial analyst and a family therapist.  Learn about the professionals who are available to help you through your divorce. You will be glad you did.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

9:00 - 1:00

Liberty Station (Command Center)

2640 Historic Decatur Road
San Diego, CA 92106
(between Dewey and Roosevelt)
$35 (pre-register) or $45 at the door

YOU MUST PRE-REGISTER

Call Kim Werner at 619-238-2400 x 223
or email at kwerner@ncrconline.com